Cobweb Club - What is that?

Another urban buzz word circulating around social settings and networking sites. What does it really mean? What if any is the significance of this overnight phenomenon. Well It's not really anything new. Ever heard of celibacy?

• Main Entry: cel·i·ba·cy
• Pronunciation: \ˈse-lə-bə-sē\
• Function: noun
• Date: 1646

1 : the state of not being married
2 a : abstention from sexual intercourse b : abstention by vow from marriage

(courtesy of the good folks at Merriam-Webster online)

So...the cobweb club is just celibacy with a modern day spin on it. Somewhere along the line, chasing sex became more important to some than cultivating relationships. I think those who choose to abstain are simply trying to bring some balance to the dating scene. Many people abstain for different reasons and for different lengths of time. Abstinence is most popular within the religious community. However, it's becoming a popular trend amongst the secular population as well. Abstaining can prove to be beneficial to some for many different reasons. It can provide space and time for healing from past relationships and clarity before entering a new union.

BET - Black Exploitation Enatertainment

Alright, that's it..I have totally had it with this poor excuse for a network. Before I go into full rant mode, let's look at the timeline for BET, Black Entertainment Television or more appropriately, Black Exploitation Television.

Does anyone remember when the BET was black owned and operated? The network was founded by Robert Johnson. BET launched as a block on USA network in 1980 and then as an independent network in 1983. (courtesy of wikipedia) Back then BET was such a breath of fresh air to the African-American community. There were shows that reflected the lifestyle and addressed the concerns of a people who prior to the launch of BET didn't have a voice. There programming line up consisted of video shows and even a full fledged news cast. Its a far cry from the perpetual rump shaking videos and sterotypical sit coms and movies shown current day.

There is a void of programming that shows African-Americans and other minority groups in a positve light. I strongly feel like this lack of affirmative images and story lines is having an adverse effect on the youth within the African-American community. I'm sure plenty of people who share my sentiments have written letters, complained, suggested and more to no avail. I believe the demise of this network began when its original owner sold the network. This is evidence of an even bigger problem. Why are we as a people so quick to "sell out". Shouldn't some things be priceless?

It is my sincere hope that in my lifetime I can once again see a network dedicated to promoting non-stereotypical images of African-American people. In order for that to happen...we will have to collectively raise our standards. We have to stop accepting "less than" as it pertains to media coverage and entertainment. I implore you to start the journey towards the rebirth of positive programming for people of color. All it takes is one person to take one step in the right direction to spark an awareness and ultimately bring about change.

you can call me....really!

Since when did it become socially acceptable to text in lieu of a phone call? Before I go into full rant mode, I must admit that there are some undeniable benefits to texting. Text messages allow you to reach someone with out the intrusion of a phone call. Texting can allow you to send useful information, IE directions, contact information etc. Furthermore, texting allows you to avoid having to have unnecessary lengthy conversations.

Now, all of these benefits can work in friendships, business ventures and even in "seasoned" romantic relationships. However, I do not think sending text messages in lieu of a phone call is appropriate for new romantic interests/connections. Nothing irks me more than receiving a series of texts from someone I've recently met. Send a text to say it was nice meeting me...that's cool. You can even send a text to test the waters..."are you busy?". But do not try and hold a conversation or "get to know me" via text message.

I could care less about your unlimited text messaging package. I don't have one and even if I did, it would STILL annoy me to have to take time to try and conduct a whole conversation, you know an EXCHANGE of ideas in limited amount of characters. That would be like trying to familiarize yourself with someone on twitter. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Well that's how silly attempting to carry out full on conversations via text messaging sounds to me.

I have to say that whenever a man tries to converse with me via text messaging, I wonder if this behavior masks some sort of issue/baggage. I mean, are you incapable of carrying on a normal telephone conversation? Do you have difficulty formulating your thoughts, communication challenged? Is it that you NEED the unlimited response time to come up with something clever to text? Whatever it is, know that it's not cute. Please refrain from soley sending text messages when trying to get to know someone.

The art of conversation can not be lost completely.

A girl with a dream.

I don't talk about my aspirations much outside of close friends and family. I recently decided to branch out. Why not? At the end of the day all anyone can tell you is yes or no. But, their answer can't stop you from dreaming big.

This was a pretty significant birthday for me in '09. In the short span of 7 days before my birthday, I got into my first car accident ever and my car was totaled. Thank God that I wasn't totaled. I walked, rolled away in an ambulance to later be released from the hospital with only bruising to show for the whole ordeal. Two days later, I received a call from the Oprah show offering me tickets to a taping. Anyone who knows anything about the Oprah show KNOWS how difficult it is to get tickets to the show.

This was obviously a pleasant surprise and truly a blessing. I went to the taping on 4/8/09, a mere 3 days before my birthday. That chance attendance changed my life. I've always admired Oprah. I always say..love her or hate her, the accomplishments that she's made as a black woman in America are unprecedented. She's an inspiration to many regardless of your profession. I grew up aware of her, and inspired by her to pursue a career in media.

In short, she's been my "shero" and I got the chance to meet her. A chance that I never saw coming. I think somehow along the way my dreams got deferred. Something happened on 4/4/09 (car accident) and 4/8/09 (chance meeting) culminating with an epiphany on my birthday 4/11/09. I asked myself; What am I waiting for? I decided to dust of my dreams. I've been actively persuing them ever since. I must admit I'm a happier person for it. I write this blog to encourage you to never stop chasing your dreams. They really can come true. Oprah hasn't see the last of the kid. I'll be back.

Body Image.....(work with what you got)

I was channel surfing today, not to be confused with swag surfing. (ha!) I came across a television special on PBS dealing with women and self perception based on societal standards. The topics of concern included but were not limited to body image. The moderator was an African-American woman. She admittedly was shocked to find that the same color complex and body image issues that plague our community are hunting women in other ethnic groups.

She had a series of panels that included contributions from women of diverse ethnic groups, physical stature and social economic backgrounds. The women were very transparent and open about these issues with body image and skin tone etc. These are issues that we all at some point more often than not..THINK about in grave detail yet don't discuss. Furthermore, these insecurities are not limited to being a "woman thing". Men deal with these exact same issues. As a woman of color and now in my post high school athlete physical shape, I know how social beauty standards can leave one left feeling rejection on some level.

My Mother said to me years ago: "Attitude is a little thing that can make a big difference." I often apply this sentiment in several different areas of my life. I've been thin before, I know what that's like. But, this fuller figure that I now own has required some major adjustments in my attitude. See I've found that I don't have a problem with my size, other people do. We've been conditioned to think that thin correlates to pretty. I decline this silly notion. I am just as beautiful now as I was 50 lbs ago. I travel as much as I can afford to, anyone who knows me knows that. I've found that I get more attention from men in other cities and NO not just down south. So is size discrimination a Midwest thing?

To me, this is no different from being teased about my dark skin tone as a child. Now everyone loves chocolate right? I say all this in an effort to encourage everyone of every walk of life no matter your skin tone or size to embrace the package you're in.

I've blogged on this issue before and I'd like to share my thoughts again here.
I decided to re-post an amended version of a blog entry from myspace below.
circa November 2008
So...erm....here's the deal. I'm a healthy girl...kinda plus right? I'm cute...I am a fashionista...and I carry my weight well on my frame. So...what's EVERYONE's problem with me and my size? Ok...no not everyone...just the silly folks here in Chicago.

I get absolutely nothing but LOVE in other cities. I mean they friggin adore me...men and women alike are always complimenting me when I travel. So why can't I get that kind of acceptance in my own city? It's ludicrous! I'm tired of going places here and folks have the audacity to refer to me as a big girl. WTF! I am not obese....and stop projecting YOUR discomfort with body images onto me.

I am happy and I feel just fine. I love my body....I love my wardrobe and am excited with the new options in fashion that allow me to express myself. The fashion industry finally realized that everyone can't be a size 4 and that the plus sized market is in fact a viable one. I just wish folks here would stop measuring one's beauty by the size of their waste.

Steve McNair (God Rest his Soul)

I was so consumed with grieving over the loss of Michael Jackson that I barely stopped to notice the passing of former NFL player Steve McNair. I don't follow the NFL much unless there's something worth wile going on with my home town Chicago Bears. Today, I logged into yahoo and saw a link to a story about Steve McNair's untimely death. I clicked on it to find out who this man was and why he died so young.

To my utter and complete shock, I found out he wasn't just a mere NFL player, In 13 NFL seasons, Steve McNair won a league MVP award and led the Tennessee Titans to a Super Bowl. He had an impressive run with the Baltimore Ravens as well. Steve McNair is one of three quarterbacks to pass for more than 30,000 yards and rush for more than 3,500 yards. Alledgedy, there were talks of him taking advantage of coaching opportunities with the NFL. Aside from all his accolades as a player, he certainlty had a bright future ahead of him and continued success in his industry.

More importantly, he was a husband and a father, someone's son! The first story I clicked on featured a picture of Steve McNair and his wife looking on at him with love and adoration in her eyes. I was overcome with heart-felt sympathy for the loved ones that were left behind due to this tragic and senseless loss of life. Apparently, Steve had a mistress...this disturbed young woman decided to murder him and then take her own life. She was only 20 years old. I had to ask myself, what on earth could have been so horrid in her life to end his and hers leaving so many innocent people behind to grieve the loss?

I am in no way writing this blog entry to pass judgement on the young woman or on Steve McNair for that matter. I just have to say.....that as sad as this whole situation is, it could have been avoided by these two people and perhaps the people closest to them making better life choices. No matter what you do in life, know that what's done in the dark will eventually come to light. It may not always be as tragic and horrific a reveal as the demise of Steve McNair and his mistress. However, I can assure you that if what you're doing could potentially harm others, the discovery will not be pleasant.

I admonish us all to constantly think of our loved ones. To remember that sometimes our actions can have consequences and can gravely affect their well being. Living a life of lies and secrecy is not living life at all. May God bless Steve McNair's wife and children and the host of others that were left behind to grieve this senseless loss. May God have mercy on the young woman's soul who chose to take a life and end her own. God grant all family, friends and loved ones directly affected by this tragedy the serenity to move forward despite the undoubted pain they must be feeling.

Below is a link to a story high lighting the details of this tragedy.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-mcnairkilled&prov=ap&type=lgns

Sarah Palin...the eternal idiot!

I was shocked to see that Sarah Palin announced her resignation from the office of Governor for the state of Alaska. But the burning question is Why? Furthermore, why now? Again my Mother dropped some insight on the situation that I feel is right on point.

My Mommy said: "Sarah Palin's timing with her announcement was designed to catapult herself back into the spotlight". Well the world is now glued to all the news networks for updates on the details surrounding the death of Michael Jackson. Most Palin supporters could care less about this, so their looking for something else that they deem "news worthy". What better than speculation over Alaska's Governor abruptly resigning from office?

I think this is just another selfish and despicable ploy by this woman for self promotion. She can never run for any other office again. She single handedly cost the Republican party the 2008 Presidential election. (Thanks Sarah, I appreciate it....Go Obama) Shame on the Republicans for trying to pull a fast one on the American people. It takes more than a quasi attractive woman with excessive "blond moment" antics to impress the majority of voters.The powers that be, or the puppeteers that were trying unsuccessfully to groom her into a viable asset to the G.O.P. probably finally reached their limit with her idiotic antics.

Without continued support and backing of her political party, she was only left to seek her own path of survival. I bet dollars to doughnuts this woman has already negotiated book deals, possibly reality show appearances and more. This is not the last we'll see of former Governor Sarah Palin. While she's not politically savvy, the woman does have business sense. I'll give her credit for this..alone. I'm disgusted by her generally,but I admire anyone that can discern when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Unfortunately, for all of us who were hoping that Sarah Palin would crawl under a rock and not come out....she's gonna be around stealing media attention by any means necessary for quite some time. (*gag*)

God bless the state of Alaska, I think it's citizens will be much better with out the circus act known as Sarah Palin.